Many years ago I hit a wall of exhaustion from a slew of story rejections and needed to laugh. Using a handful of the most condescending form rejection letters I had ever received, I wrote a comedy piece about how rejection letters can feel bizarrely and excruciatingly personal. I can’t tell you how much fun this exercise was. Some of you will have already read this piece, but others have not, so I’m republishing it here today. Enjoy!
I've received a few of these lately, and they did feel like "After an extenuating session of haruspicy, the gods have decreed that this isn't right for us." But I liked your versions better—so funny. I loved how you turned those generic rejection letters into this. I laughed out loud a few times, with gems like "I've been loving women since 1982 and it is women like you who keep me loving women like you." :)
Brilliant!
I've received a few of these lately, and they did feel like "After an extenuating session of haruspicy, the gods have decreed that this isn't right for us." But I liked your versions better—so funny. I loved how you turned those generic rejection letters into this. I laughed out loud a few times, with gems like "I've been loving women since 1982 and it is women like you who keep me loving women like you." :)
thank you! It was too much fun!
I used to save them- when they were sent by mail. Hilarious maddening things! 😁