About Being a Trusted Reader
Thoughts about being an editor and/or trusted reader
As trusted readers who write we have the responsibility to be kind to each other's stories, and if we don't take to a story, or think it's up to par, I believe it best to say something sustaining and not ever succumb to even a vague kind of put down .. We don't need to lie and say it's great but we don't need to shame the writer. For me, it's about finding one or more things about the story that works. If it's just one line that succeeds, that's something to build on. If the writer is diligent even the tiniest pinprick of light can lead toward improvement. But when we emotionally reject a story entirely, saying something like "I really don't know about this one," we're rejecting not just the story, but the writer. Our stories are part of who we are.
I can’t express how shitty it feels. I sent a story of mine to a former Twitter buddy for feedback. Now, he’s an accomplished short story writer in the lit mag space, having published stuff in some of the best magazines, and been shortlisted for a Stoker. I figured if anyone could give competent feedback, it would be him. And he did… he told me everything that was wrong with my story. Now, his advice was pertinent, I see it now. But there was not a single ray of light in what he said. Everything was negative. By contrast, I shared the story with two other readers and the experience was much more positive. Uff. When giving feedback, we should keep in mind how much power our words may have.
This is a hard to balance to strike! I would put a premium on kindness over everything else. And this quote by Anne Lamott about this very thing came to mind, even if years and years have passed since I read it: "You don't always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too" (Bird by Bird).